Doing My First Taxes Energized Me. How?

Doing My First Taxes Energized Me. How?

Postby bobbymac » Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:20 pm

A strange thing happened to me and the only thing I can think of is social priorities to explain it. I remember reading that doing an activity of your 3rd priority can help you come out of shock.

Today I was sinking into a depression and only pages of journaling was keeping it in check. On my to-do list was my taxes. Thing is it's the first time in my life I've ever had to do my taxes. Hard to believe I know being 38 years old.

All afternoon the thought of doing them had my symptoms spiralling. I looked at the forms and read the guide and was completely frustrated by the mind first organization. I tore out all the pages and laid them out on the carpet in a sort of flow pattern, from income slip to mailing envelope on the other end. I had decided I needed to show myself before I endured the guide telling me about it. This helped my symptoms from gripping so badly.

Still, I could not easily bring myself to actually start doing them. I overate. I slept. I watched TV. I smoked. Finally I reminded myself I had grabbed 2 copies so I could make a mess of the first one. That seemed fun.

Picking up my pencil I have made my way in only 40 minutes through the pages and walked away seeing where the other forms fit in. I was energized. This is where my question came from. Where did the energy come from? I was almost sick earlier with symptoms. All I did was fill in some boxes with a pencil for about half an hour.

Or did I?

That's when the thought about social priorities came back. Clearly I was in shock when I started. And the activities I was stuck in mostly hovered in my lowest priority, sensations. I'm a 2-3-4-1, by the way. Organization - Understanding - Freedom - Sensations.

My next thought was that it was an organization activity afterall and it should be no surprise I enjoyed it. Wait a minute though, my highest priority wouldn't normally bring me out of shock easily. That's when it hit me. It was a tiny little decision and it paved the way for a lot of energy. So much I'm sharing here now. And I usually have trouble getting around to sharing. Here's the tiny little decision.

Making my way with the tax forms I came rather soon up against a question. Most of the boxes needed zeros. (ie. 0|00) And my first thought was they didn't want me to fill in every zero. (ie. 0| ) One of them would do. Second thought was that it would be assumed a zero if nothing was entered. It would be OK to enter nothing. No matter in my mind! I decided it would help me to see all the zeros filled in to visualize the math later. So I filled in every single zero. I actually found delight in this.

So can you see the priority activity? I do now. It's freedom. In my mind I was doing it against the grain. Even if it was a grain I imagined. By the end I had understood and organized but it was the turning of the tide that made it possible.

More questions! How can I use freedom activities to bring me out of shock? Until today I would have had trouble even describing one. What would these activities look like?

Bobby
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Re: Doing My First Taxes Energized Me. How?

Postby stevent10993 » Sun Apr 03, 2011 8:26 pm

Interesting post, Bobby. I wish there were more of us here to discuss it. Slowly, this will happen though; the second book just came out. BTW, this book is easier to read and has all the personality tests in it, including the social priority tests. It's like I took all the personality articles on the site and cranked them up 10 notches. Including that there's a slew of new stuff.

As for your thoughts about your social priorities, my first thought is that there was more going on here than just changing your social priorities. Clearly, at first, you were reliving a wound, likely one about taking a fill-in-the-blanks test. You also seem to have healed this wound, probably by allowing yourself the freedom to mess this "test"up. Moreover the clear proof that you healed something is the pleasant surprise you felt when you realized that it would be fun to mess up one of the forms. From that point on, it seems, you felt energized. No doubt the result of your emergence (taking tests can be fun?).

It also seems that by healing this wound, you've freed yourself to write more, even here on the forum. This time the evidence is the delight you felt when you filled in the optional zeros.

And the role knowing you social priorities played it this? Obviously, a big one. Guess it's time to learn more freedom exercises (any activity which frees you from the need to do the other three social priorities). At the same time, all your experience doing emergence is likely the main thing at work here.

Congratulations.

Steven

P.S. Let me know if you want me to ship you a copy of the new book.
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Re: Doing My First Taxes Energized Me. How?

Postby bobbymac » Mon Apr 04, 2011 4:17 pm

Thanks for reminding me about the delight because I had overlooked the possibility of healing. I've had to work so hard to heal I didn't know it could come so innocently and quietly! Looking back this has been happening once in a while. And I do connect it to making freedom choices. Inventing a salad dressing and completely ignoring instructions at work for instance.

Checking my visual access after reading your post I was surprised by the resolution and intensity. A scene from a movie came to me and I haven't seen that clearly in a while. It involved a character was a teacher in prison and had just given out a test. ;)

Today I spent some time with your idea that a freedom activity would be anything that takes me away from focus on the other three priorities. So far I've revealed huge doubt I can work on a music composition without understanding it or organizing it or sensing it. Yet something tells me I have done this before...
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Re: Doing My First Taxes Energized Me. How?

Postby stevent10993 » Tue Apr 05, 2011 9:29 am

Any time you're feeling urgency in an ordinary situation, you're reliving a wound. I'd bet you have a wound in and around composing music. If so, then if you focus on composing in a way in which you are free to do anything you like, this might provoke a few emergences.

Also, know that you can discover freedom-based activities just by considering what a parent/teacher/authority would tell you not to do. So if a music teacher might tell you that you have to compose a certain way (or if the authority in your own head tells you this), just rebel and impulsively write something crazy, then see where this leads you.
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